Why Meetings Are Built for Extroverts and How Introverts Can Compete

Welcome to the Introverted Leader, a podcast helping introverted leaders embrace your underrated quiet strengths to get promoted and start earning what you deserve. I’m Greg Weinger, and I have over 25 years of experience leading people, and yes, I am an introvert. In this MIDI soad, I’ll be sharing an excerpt from my interview this week with Stacey Chasen, episode number 36, and I’ll share some of my thoughts about it. We spoke here about meetings, and Stacey does an excellent job breaking down the number one reason introvert’s struggle in meetings and offers her suggestions for dealing with them. This topic is so important for introverts because number one, we spend so much of our work lives in meetings, and number two, it’s probably the most significant challenge that we face at work. I’ve personally struggled with this, and while today I have a full suite of tricks to participate, be visible in lead in these environments, it’s still not an ideal fit for my personality. According to Stacey, meetings are designed as if in a lab to expose your introvert tendencies to think before you speak, and this impacts your influence the way you’re perceived as a leader or not, and ultimately whether you’ll rise in your company, gain the role and the conversation you’re looking for. So let’s hear the clip, and I’ll follow up with some more thoughts. Let’s take meetings, for example. Meetings are often a great proxy for how people are viewed as leaders. Are you speaking up? Are you assertive? Do you have an immediate answer to questions that are on the table? So extroverts tend to think out loud. That’s how they process information. They’re thinking out loud. They’re sharing their thought process with others. They’re coming up with answers quickly. They’re moving from topic to topic. These are things that we say, wow, this person really knows their stuff. They’re really great at leading this conversation or contributing in a way that’s making a difference. But we as introverts, we’re going to do our best work when we have time to think. When we see the array of information, when we hear the questions that are on the table, and we can process on our own, or maybe in conversation with one other person, we might come up with an idea that is just as good, if not better, then what our extroverted colleague did in that meeting. But it’s not seen, that is not seen as being a leader in the way that speed and flexibility and being able to cover all these topics in one sitting, that’s what we equate with leadership. So it puts us at a disadvantage. I like to suggest to people, I say this to teams and to individuals, the first time a team comes together, whether it’s a formal team or an ad hoc team, I love to have everyone go around the room and say, what’s one thing you want the rest of the group to know about what you need to succeed, what you need to show up as your best. And this is a great opportunity for introverts and extroverts alike. But for introverts, to say, for example, I’m going to do my best work, you’re going to get the best of me when I have a meeting agenda ahead of time, which is a best practice for everyone I’d say. Well, and I have an opportunity to give something some thought before responding when I can meet with you one-on-one, when I can submit ideas in writing. And it lets people see that, okay, it’s not that Stacy doesn’t know the answer to the question or she’s not as smart or doesn’t have as much leadership potential as someone else around the table, but she’s going to get there, but this is the way that she’s going to need to do it. So that’s one thing. Other approaches to communication is I think you need to show, right? When someone asks you for an idea, speaking up doesn’t need to be literally speaking with your mouth. Speaking up can be sending an email or it could be responding verbally, but in a one-on-one situation rather than with a large group. And if someone is pushing, say, now I need to hear your voice more, you need to speak up, push back and say, I’m going to give you my best work. You’re going to get great ideas out of me or you’re going to get my best thinking any 24 hours or would it be okay if I give it to you in writing, send you an email, could we meet over coffee, could we schedule time to talk about this? Just one-on-one. This is so good. Two thoughts here. I really like the examples Stacy gives us to lead outside of meetings. When it comes to influence, there’s so much you can do outside of the meeting with your writing, email, one-on-ones, visuals, hallway conversations, et cetera. Just buying more time to think on your own terms is a great strategy. Another thing, this is a great example where voicing what you need and verbalizing what you’re thinking are very important things we need to do as introverts. We need to let people into our heads and let them know what’s going on and bring them along. Extroverts are doing this naturally, and while this is less natural for us, we can do it and we can be much more influential when we do. I will say this won’t work all the time, and so much of my career progression has hinged on how I was able to show up in certain meetings. To longer term, you will have to develop ways to show up in these circumstances, regardless. If you want to have more influence and continue to rise as a leader. Some of these are more advanced techniques and mindfulness, breathing, staying present. These are things that I’d like to cover in a future episode, and if this seems challenging, here are a couple of suggestions that you can start doing immediately, no matter where you are on your career path. Number one is preparation. Always prepare. Stacy covers this too if you watched the full episode. Preparation is always the introvert’s strong suit. Read the agenda. Prepare bullets to cover. Make sure you’re speaking up and getting recognized. You don’t have to dominate the conversation to have an impact. If you are feeling nervous to speak up, I find it’s often helpful to get involved in the early banter at the beginning of a meeting when everyone’s just making dumb comments. This actually helps shake out the butterflies. It’s just more natural when you do have to jump in later in the meeting if it’s not the first time you’re speaking. Number two, meetings can be draining. You really want to be careful to manage your energy before and after the meeting if possible. Even during the meeting, you can help regulate your energy by remembering to pause, to breathe, look around the room, get into your body. The secret to influence is presence. These things help you to stay present. Then the next time you speak, everyone feels that. They feel it in your voice. I really hope you found all of this helpful. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe so that you won’t miss out on more content like this. I’m Greg Weinger, encouraging you to keep leading with quiet confidence. I’ll see you next time. Some McNuggets and those golden fries from McDonald’s. Then you take a long sip of your Sprite because you can still hear your mama saying, don’t fill up on it drink before you eat your food. But you’re grown now, so you do what you want. Share and share alike with the 20 piece McNuggets from McDonald’s for just $6. Limited time only, prize and participation may vary. You cannot be combined with any other offer. Bada bada bada bada. A payment tip from Northwest Natural. Northwest Natural offers flexible payment plans and build discount programs. For customers who need extra support, that’s good energy. Reliable and ready. Learn more at nwnatural.com